


Cover My Eyes

by Jenshih_Blue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:10:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenshih_Blue/pseuds/Jenshih_Blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are angels with a history that spans centuries of secrets. Together they are far more than they are apart, but for this one night they revisit something both believed long gone to discover one moment of peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cover My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> The gorgeous art of gikun entitled "He's my Brother" inspired this plot bunny. Title from the song "Tears of An Angel" by RyanDan

“They are angry.”

“Darling, what did you expect? After all they are human despite the lovely chaos they’ve caused.”

Castiel’s shoulders slumped as he stared out the window into the driving rain. “I told them it was your plan and I would have done the same.”

“Well, now, is that the cause of your long face, little brother?”

A gentle hand settled on the crown of his head, long fingers threading through the messy damp strands and he released a soft breath. “Balthazar, they are my friends.”

Balthazar made a rude noise as Castiel shifted from one foot to the other, body twitching with nervous energy. “We were never meant to be friends as you well know, love. Father was quite clear about that—was he not?”

Muscles tensing Castiel tried to focus on the storm beyond the window and not the gentle motion of the hand in his hair. He knew in the logical part of his mind Balthazar was correct; Father had never meant for them to be friends to the humans, but his charges were different. Within their blood the power of angels flowed.

“Castiel.” his name was a sweet whisper on Balthazar’s lips, tickling the fine hairs at the base of his neck. “You do worry too much, darling.”

“And you do not worry enough.” he exhaled, breath misting the motel’s window. “Raphael will never stop. Tonight was a simple reprieve.”

Balthazar shrugged. “Perhaps, but I was quite impressed with your show of strength. I do believe Raphael might have shit his knickers when you flexed those exquisite wings of yours.”

He felt heat rise in his cheeks and dropped his chin, eyes focused on the well-worn carpet. “Please don’t do that, Balthazar.” He whispered beneath his breath.

Gentle laughter tickled the air as Balthazar moved in closer and pressed his lips to his ear in a ghost of a kiss. “Do what?”

Castiel looked up at his brother from beneath thick dark lashes, eyes burning bright with long ago memories. “We cannot be as we were.”

“And what, dear boy, would you have me do? Forget?”

Turning away, Castiel wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. “No, I would never ask that of you. It is just…I am not…”

“Who you were then?” he seemed amused by his own question.

“Yes.”

Balthazar sniffed. “I would think it abundantly clear that neither of us is the same as we were. You’ve become a force to reckon with, brother. As I have become a renegade. Did I not explain you inspired me?”

“I want no credit for your thievery and disrespect.”

Pulling back, Balthazar’s eyes widened, one hand pressed against his heart in mock horror. “You wound me, Castiel. I gave you the weapons I spirited away and your pets made it back in one piece.”

Castiel turned anger in his deep blue eyes. “Yes, but at what cost? The world you forced them into was ravaged by Virgil.”

“I recall a certain warrior centuries ago who believed there was no such thing as a war without casualties.”

“Yes, but…” his throat tightened until it was difficult to breath.

Balthazar tried to capture his elusive gaze, tipping his head down. “Look at me, love.”

Lifting his head their eyes met and Balthazar frowned at what he saw. “Oh, dear boy…you truly are hurting.”

Before he could stop himself, Castiel was walking into Balthazar’s embrace; warm and familiar in a way few things were these days. Balthazar pulled him close, tucking his head beneath his chin, palm smoothing down the curve of his skull and then pressed a gentle kiss to the top.

“Sweetheart, you must not let Raphael win. We both know if he were to do so our worlds would be destroyed beyond repair.”

“I know.” Castiel buried his face against the warm skin of Balthazar’s vessel and inhaled the scent he recalled from so long ago. “It is difficult though.”

“Our father would not have chosen you for this mission had he not had faith in you.”

He pulled away and looked up at the elder angel with surprise. “What?”

Balthazar pursed his lips, tongue clicking the roof of his mouth. “You heard exactly what I said. There’s no need for you to question it. Father knew from the moment he sent you and the others in to spoil Alastair’s fun where this would lead.”

Eyebrows drawing together, Castiel turned his back to Balthazar and began pacing the motel room. “You’ve spoken to our father?”

Flopping on the bed, Balthazar huffed. “Is that so easy to dismiss? It isn’t as if Joshua has the market cornered on heavenly communication.”

“Then why would you…how could you…” Castiel stumble over the words as he glanced at his brother, doubt obvious in his expression.

Balthazar patted the mattress, a spark of glee in his eyes as they crinkled. “You are just adorable when you’re confused. Have a seat and let me explain.”

One of Castiel’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh, please, darling I don’t bite…” the corner of his mouth twitched in a half smile, “Unless you would like me to take a nibble.”

Castiel rolled his eyes.

Smile widening, Balthazar shook his head. “You truly have taken to the humans and adapted some of their amusing quirks.”

Joining Balthazar on the bed, Castiel sighed. “If you knew, if our father told you what was to come, why didn’t you tell me?”

Balthazar sat quiet for a change, eyes focused on Castiel’s profile. Beneath the skin of his vessel, Balthazar could see his true visage and recalled the first time he’d laid eyes on the brother sitting next to him.

Humans, especially those two idiot Winchesters, knew nothing of what they were or what they felt. Angels were beings of energy not some plump cherub with the fluffy white wings of a bloody dove nor were they asexual creatures dressed in armor ready to battle the demonic hordes. Okay, perhaps they battled demonic hordes, but they were not what humans believed them to be.

 

#

 

The first time he’d seen Castiel he’d known there was something special about him. There was a color and texture to his grace that reminded Balthazar of the color of his present vessel’s eyes and he imagined he’d fallen in love or as close to love as an angel could in that single moment.

Love was a rarity among their kind. Loyalty they had; undying and a massive shitload of it. Compassion most of them possessed. Strength beyond human measure, but love…well, love was a cherished thing when discovered among their ranks. It was a rare beautiful gem infused with the power to move mountains, create tidal waves, and split the earth herself open to pour molten rock from her core. Why their father had not offered the gift of love to all, Balthazar dared not question. All he knew was both he and Castiel discovered it without ever searching for it.

Castiel assigned to a garrison in the mountains of what the humans now called the Middle East, his first assignment outside the walls of Heaven, had been a young one over two-thousand years ago. Balthazar on the other hand had walked the earth from before the Great Flood. He had seen far more than the youthful Castiel who cloistered for most of his existence behind the walls of Heaven was far more innocent.

Second in command to Annael, the garrison leader, Balthazar had seen the look in her eyes when she spoke to Castiel and it caused him great distress. She knew what she was doing when she took Castiel beneath her proverbial wing. He was an infant compared to most of the garrison and he still believed in the word of their father. Some of the garrison, all those centuries ago, had seen the displeasure in his stride and they knew Annael was a fool for her dalliance with the young one because Balthazar had felt the beginnings of the Bond with Castiel.

Balthazar hadn’t told Castiel about Annael. How she’d lost her grip on what being an angel was because despite his jealousy at their connection, he’d wanted Castiel to be happy. She had made him just that until the night she’d chosen to fall. What the Winchesters didn’t know (particularly that sluttish creature Dean) was Annael and Castiel had bonded before she’d done the unthinkable.

Most humans thought of them as pure, unblemished and to be frank Balthazar was beginning to believe things would be simpler if they were. Angels though were not asexual they were sexual beings very much as humans were except their version of sex had nothing to do with the physical and everything to do with the spiritual.

Keeping secrets was a dangerous thing to do, he’d known that from the start, but for Castiel’s sake, he had. After centuries in the mountains, the garrison was called back home to Heaven’s gate. Their first night back he’d watched from a far as Annael told Castiel of her plan to fall to earth and her desire for him to follow. Her admission horrified the younger angel and he’d fled from her straight into Balthazar’s arms.

It was another hundred years (a mere drop in the bucket of time to them) before she gave up on convincing Castiel that to be human would be a freeing experience. He kept her secret, but declined to turn his back on all he was and knew. None in the upper echelons appeared to be aware Castiel knew her plans and so it was she had fallen of her own accord reborn as the human woman Anna.

That night Castiel came to Balthazar, his emotional state visible in the flicker of his grace and the unrest of his beautiful dark wings. Balthazar had taken him to the highest point on Earth, the peak of Mount Everest and spoke to him with the wisdom and gentleness of an Ancient. He told him of all he’d seen, of the power and love of their father and of punishments, their father had leveled upon the humans in the distant past. He explained Annael had allowed her time on Earth to draw her too close to the humans and their flawed beauty. The comfort he provided the broken-hearted Castiel had led to their Bonding the fact they were both male was nothing in Heaven.

Angels although both male and female had the ability to shift sexes if they so chose and the physical aspects mattered not when it came to the Bond. Humans were fools in their understanding of nature; killing one another over the silliest things in Balthazar’s opinion. They could never quite get the idea that Father had made them all who they were and that each soul was born bi-sexual as they called it. That was the spark of heavenly fire within them, but unlike angels, most of them always became either attracted to the opposite or same sex. A few never let the heavenly spark fade and thus they never made the choice. Such was the case of those who could act as vessels for the Heavenly Host.

 

#

 

“Balthazar, you have not answered my question.”

His gentle voice intruded upon Balthazar’s thoughts and he turned to look into Castiel’s fever bright eyes. “Darling, would you have believed had I told you?”

Standing Castiel moved back to the window, arms wrapped around his chest, and released a soft breath. “Point taken, but you could have tried.”

There was sadness in his voice, reminding Balthazar that despite everything their Bond still remained. He stood and moved to Castiel’s side, faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “Do you still feel it?”

Castiel caught off guard by the question turned as Balthazar’s hand ghosted over his hair. He hesitated to answer afraid the answer would wound him in some way. What he saw in Balthazar’s eyes though told him otherwise. “Yes, I do.” His voice deepened.

“Then come to me, love. Give us at least one night to forget everything around us.”

“I promised my charges I would…”

He never finished, words cut off by Balthazar’s mouth as he leaned forward and kissed Castiel until the breath of his vessel escaped, his head growing light. After a few seconds, he lifted one trembling hand, fingers threading through Balthazar’s golden curls. As he recalled what they had shared, for nearly a thousand years, his chest tightened, eyes beginning to sting and his vision blurred. Castiel could feel knuckles trace the contour of his face and he knew without a single doubt Balthazar missed him as much as he had missed Balthazar.

“You are quite extraordinaire.”

“I’m just a simple soldier.” Castiel replied, eyes drifting shut.

Balthazar leaned in closer again; breathe warm and smelling of peppermints and night-blooming jasmine. “You were never simple, my dear, always extraordinary. From the moment you descended to the garrison, I knew great things awaited you. That was the difference between Annael and I. She never bothered to see the truth.”

His eyes opened and he tipped his head, moisture seeping from his eyes. Balthazar reached out one finger swiping through the tear trailing down Castiel’s cheek. He brought his finger to his lips, tongue darting out to taste the saltiness clinging there.

Balthazar savored the taste before he smiled down at Castiel. “Few of our brethren have the ability to shed tears. It is a sign from our father that your bond with humanity is one of deep, abiding love and compassion for his creations. Did you know that?”

Blinking, Castiel reached up and wiped at his face, studying the moisture on his fingers as if the answer he sought lie hidden there. He glanced up into Balthazar’s eyes and cocked his head to the side. “I want to feel it again.”

The smile Balthazar offered was answer enough.

Together they moved across the room, shedding clothing as they went, all too human hands exploring these new vessels. By the time they reached the bed, they were bare of all adornments, their skin pale as winter snow and aglow with their grace. Balthazar’s wings unfolded, ivory feathers tipped in faded grey, as he brushed Castiel’s temple with the back of his hand. A shudder travelled through Castiel’s vessel and his wings exploded out brighter than any Balthazar had ever seen. He released a surprised noise at the sight before him.

The last time he’d seen Castiel’s wings they had been dark as midnight, but now they were the purest of white, nearly silver in their intensity. “Dear Lord,” he whispered stretching out his hand to brush the feathery energy between his fingers. “What they’ve whispered in the halls of Heaven is true.”

“And what have they whispered, brother?” Castiel inquired voice a rumble that shook the walls of the motel.

Balthazar’s smile widened even further. “That a new Archangel was born when the Morningstar and Michael descended into the cage.”

“And do you believe them, Balthazar?”

“I bloody well do now.”

Without another word, Balthazar pushed Castiel back onto the bed, their bodies beginning to glow brighter with each passing second. Castiel’s wings wrapped around them both, trapping their earthly vessels in a cocoon of warmth and light, his eyes shining with a desire Balthazar had never seen before.

“Are you sure…?”

Castiel smiled. “Yes, I am.”

The light around them intensified as they pressed their bodies closer, breathing one another’s air, and limbs entwined until neither existed as a separate entity. They moved as one and the combination of their graces would blind any human foolish enough to spy upon them in this intimate moment. For them this was the ultimate joining, no lube or condom required. Their very essences pouring through and around them in an exquisite bliss no human words could describe until at last they both reached that moment all God’s creatures do in a single breath.

In that moment, there was no good or evil, Heaven or Hell, and existence was a tangle of silver threads. Every voice in existence joined in a single song of ethereal brightness and every soul felt the true nature of creation.

Outside the motel, the intense light of their bonding pierced the stormy night as if they were the core of the sun. With one voice, they cried out their completion. Glass exploded outward from every window within a 25-mile radius, mirrors and light bulbs shattered, and alarms filled the night with piercing wails.

Mere seconds later the light vanished, darkness closing in again, and all that remained was the fading echo of thunder.

Inside, Castiel sprawled on the shattered bed, naked and satiated, skin covered in a cooling sheen of perspiration. Beside him, Balthazar laid, heart thundering as it hadn’t since—well, since never. He pushed up on one elbow, one hand threading through Castiel’s damp hair and smiled the smile of the exhausted. Castiel opened his eyes and returned the smile.

“Now I get it, love.”

Castiel’s forehead crinkled. “What?”

“Why the French call it _le petit mort_.”

Before Castiel could reply there was a rustling rush of wind and Balthazar was gone leaving him to his thoughts. He sat up and surveyed the damage with amusement that soon faded to grief. It pained him though they both knew this might be good-bye. If things were to continue as they had Castiel and he would meet again and when they did, Castiel knew he might have to destroy the only being who had ever truly loved him.

“Prove me wrong, Balthazar.” He whispered, a single tear trailing down his cheek.

~Finis~


End file.
